Cycles of Time

It's been ages. I have been stuck on input mode. Output mode has been jammed. Time to switch gears.

Do you know what got me writing? My friend Si! As I was laying with my huge baby-filled belly on the couch surrounded by my merry celebration buddies counting down to the New Year, when I heard Si begin, and continue, on his quintessential party rant! I can count these moments on two hands; he'll find something he is particularly passionate about and drill it in hard! I absolutely love being a part of these little rants, whether it is directed towards me, or anyone else! This time, he was speaking to my buddy Alphabets, who was dreaming about becoming a writer but just couldn't begin. Here goes Si: "Just start somewhere! You're not going to write your first famed novel after writing for one night! Its the little bits that get you somewhere- that hone your skills, each little minute bit at a time. And so what if your writing never makes it anywhere in the end you'll enjoy each little moment you're writing and you'll have a record of your mind and your words. I say you do it! Stop making excuses and start writing! I want to read your sh"t, I'm sure you can do this. Just start!" Of course, I can't remember exactly what Si said, but for me, this was the gist of what he was saying ala-Alex-ears. To add to the magnificence of these words, it is important to note that Si does not often express his words of encouragement to us as he is usually caught up in his brilliant, "beautiful mind-esque" task of the month and is not relating to other humans for that period of time! So these words stuck with me and rang true. And here I am, taking my first step...to a thousand miles, or perhaps...just the one!

It's wonderful how the human mind works. Cycles of time are so influential when it comes to human perception. When it's the end of the year, humans slow down a bit- people were stopped showing up to my talks; holiday, relax, can't be bothered mode engaged. Now that the New Year has begun, we are all shifting into a higher gear! New ambitions have taken root and motivation has increased for most of us! Continuing on about cycles of time,  even when it comes to counseling, there are studies that show that sessions that run beyond an hour stop being as beneficial for the client. We have trained our minds to feel that we can accomplish lots within an hour, so much so that beneficial intervention is perceived to become less productive after that hour is up. Those of you who live in a place that experiences seasons, don't you experience a feeling of change in energy when spring chirps its way to life after a cold, dark winter?

There are so many cycles that we go through as humans that we can use to energize ourselves! At the end of the day, it's about perception. As long as we perceive it to be a moment of energy and motivation, we can create the cycles that we need to motivate ourselves, even if they didn't previously exist. Even if it was mid-month, on no particular day, if I felt that I was becoming negative and whiny, I could label that day my annual day of positive thought & speech! I could give it a personal and cheesy name- Speak Shiny Day! I could decide that I would not allow myself to complain out loud more than 3 times that day. If I managed to transform a complaint with a positive comment, I could 'erase' it so that it would not count as one of three! If I managed to accomplish my mission for Speak Shiny Day I could treat myself to a massage as positive reinforcement!

We have a chance to switch it up and use any moment as the beginning of a cycle- which we already know that our brains love- so whatever we need to work on in our lives, let's DOOOOOO it! Today is my start writing in little drips and drabs day- I'm going to write something every sigle day, even if its only one word on a piece of paper! What day is it for you? :)  Let me know what you want to improve upon and I'll write you a challenge!

Nature Nurturing in the City

Each time I go into nature. I want to stay there. I've never been into the wilderness and thought "I can't wait to get back to the city". Never once. I have only ever lived in cities or in suburbs though. So I often wonder, is being in nature something that is just a greener (pun intended) pasture? Or is it something that my spirit and soul would continue to enjoy no matter how long I stayed? 

I've just gotten back from the jungle, rocks, beach and sea. I love waking up to water and green. When I wake up to the sun lighting my porch, its warmth on my skin...when I feel the different birds chirping (or squawking!) to each other... when I can look out over an expanse of water, it  just feels so damn good for my soul. Truthfully, I would like to have that every single day. 

It is strange being in this concrete jungle. I don't dislike it. I'm quite used to it. There are patches of green here and there that bring me joy. The little bamboo plant growing on my balcony blows to and fro in the wind and makes tickles the nature lover inside me daily. 

Perhaps I need to listen to that voice inside me that keeps saying "go back to nature, I am your roots, I am where you came from and you belong with me all day and everyday". Or perhaps I have become, or always have been a variety-loving creature that craves whatever she hasn't had in a long time. Ah well, I trust that my soul will shout out to me "no more! I will not stand it any longer!" when and if the day comes that I no longer belong in a city. Until then, I will create my pockets of nature immersion in whatever way I can. 

I suppose we must trust that the best we can do is to listen carefully to what our soul and spirit is telling us, and make the most of what we have in the present.

Anticipation you're keepin' me chasin'!

Wow, I'm not very good at writing consistently am I? I suppose its the pressure of writing something that's good every time I write. And what is good you might ask. Well good in this context means that it does not come out sounding pointless or contrived. Good means that it is meaningful to those who happen to read it. Good means hopefully contributing positive vibes to this world...or dare I say the Universe?!

Anyway, I decided to write today even though I haven't planned out what I want to say. I am writing to get today's me "on paper". I am writing because I found a blog through a kickass friend and ex of mine that we both used to write on and it felt incredible to have a record of a time more than 10 years ago! That being said, I have not dared to read that 10-year old blog yet. I'm a little afraid of the emotions it might bring up! Perhaps I'll feel sad about a time that has passed; perhaps embarrassed about the way I acted or spoke...then again, perhaps I will feel proud of who I was back then? Perhaps I will be happy that I had those experiences when I did?

Anticipation...the emotions that you put yourself through when you anticipate; they are rarely that close to what you actually experience in the actual situation.

I am anticipating how I will feel when I read that old blog; I am anticipating how I will feel when I start writing a post before I've even started writing!

One thing I anticipate far too much is how much I will miss someone. I miss them before I've even left them! I proactively miss them; so much so that sometimes I waste my last moments with them because I am too upset that I will be leaving them! I have been working on this issue for more than 10 years now. I recognized that I was doing this because I was having such a great time with a group of friends when one of them said they had to leave to do some soul-searching and I felt so upset! I wanted them to stay... the energy was so good! Someone else reached out to me and said "let him go, he needs to do his thing for a while, maybe he'll come back when he's ready". It was at this moment that I decided to work on fully enjoying someone's company whilst they were there, then trying my best to send them off joyfully when they needed to go and do their thing. Man...easier said than done though!

Till this day I still struggle to let the fun end! I want things that feel wonderful to continue. I want to draw them out. But who says the next moment won't be just as great even if I don't struggle to keep things the same?

I need to remember to be present. To be here now. Or if I really feel its right, try to initiate what it is I'm hoping for in whatever way I can if it will be good for both myself and others.

I shall try not to anticipate too much and just let situations be as they are. I shall change my experience of them if I need to. I shall try to take each moment as it is when it comes:)

Help! I need to sell myself!

Why do I have such a hard time "selling" myself? I've had multiple people say to me, "how come you don't make more of an effort to market yourself? The things you share could help so many people!" Well, the truth of the matter is I am a huge believer in humility. I love people who are humble. I like people who have the confidence to let his or her work speak for itself without needing to boast about what it is they do. In fact, I think my boast-meter is a little messed up! Sometimes I'll think someone that I've spoken too is too cocky for my liking and I'll make that comment to a friend and they'll be surprised thinking that all the other person did was say he was great at clinching deals. I'm sure each of us has a different standard for what we consider just stating facts, and what we consider boasting- and I think that's fine. My issue is, because of this boast-sensitivity that I have, I feel that I have not achieved as much as I might have been able to had I been less sensitive to boasting. 

My fear is that by marketing myself, I will come across boastful. I love what I do- sharing ideas and energy about how to make their lives more meaningful and fulfilling, but because I don't market myself well, I miss a lot of opportunities to do just that. What I realised when speaking to a good buddy of mine Ben, is that I need not think of it as "selling" or "marketing" myself. He said that I should just ask myself "do you want to be able to share what you have discovered with others?". And if the answer is yes, then I need to be brave and tell them about what it is I can share. I think my issue is that I feel that a lot of what I do is just getting people to recognise things that are simple and already within them. So why should they pay me to do that. Yeah, you know, I think I would rather just have a million conversations with each of the people in my audiences for free and share the information with them that way instead. But alas, my reach would be so small...

At the end of the day, I still struggle with this issue and have done for many years. Have any of you faced this issue and if so, can you share what helped for you? :)

It really couldn't Hurt, but it could really Help!

One of my colleagues is leaving the company and we had a farewell dinner for him tonight. He is a young man, but is quite an old soul. When asked to give a speech, he said he had not prepared, but then went on to say something lovely about each of the colleagues at the table articulately. After he was done, I asked others at the table to share something nice that they remembered about their interactions with him. I said I would begin, just to give them some time to think and perhaps trigger something within them with my sharing. 

When I was finished, i turned to others gesturing that they should continue with their sharing, but at first they did not want to. The interesting thing is that that are all very friendly and caring people. In fact, though some are slightly shy, most of them are not. I started to ponder why they were so hesitant to speak up, especially because I knew that each and every one of them liked this colleague very much and had experienced plenty of great moments with him both within and outside of work. As I was finishing my thought, one of my colleagues spoke up and said "aiyah, if you all want me to say something I will say lah, but I don't say my feelings out one. I want to hug you also I won't hug I will just keep how i feel inside." 

I'm glad she was honest, and with some nudging she eventually shared a little about what she appreciated about him. But this experience made me think about how important it is for us to push ourselves past our comfort zone when it comes to encouraging others. We might feel shy, or like someone else has already said what we have said, or that you could tell him some other time, or that you don't have anything significant to say...but in my opinion, if you share "something nice about your experience with him" you can't really go wrong! When was the last time you said to someone genuinely:"you know, I really appreciate how great of a listener you are" and that person turned around and said:"what?! I can't believe you said that me...humph" and detested you for what you had said? Yeah, that's right, NEVER! So yes, perhaps its easy for me to say because I'm not generally a shy person, but whether you are or not, just remind yourself how it really couldn't hurt, but it really could help if you are saying something encouraging.

Sunshine Warrior is Back (a blogpost about the joys of waking up wonderfully & spreading the wonders of travel!)

Sunshine Warrior is back! (I have of course still been fighting to see the sun each day, I suppose I have just been choosing to share about my search for sunlight elsewhere!)

I say this as my foot is bathed in sunlight, but the rest of my body shies away from the sun for fear of profusely sweating on this almost-sweltering Singapore morning. What a blessing to be able to wake up at a relaxed pace, stretch like a happy cat in my bed, let my eyes adjust the the lovely greenery outside my window, intentionally make my veggie smoothie with perfectly ripe avocados, then stroll to the little coffee joint around the corner to start my work day off!

One thing that I absolutely adore about travelling, is that all the little joys of being in a new town; all the aspects of curiosity that are piqued within you, can be carried back with you to where you actually live- and used to see your home in a wholly different light! I've definitely sat on this very terrace, on this very chair before, doing my work, but today I am seeing it as if I were a tourist, in a new town, absorbing all the details of this new place! The types of foliage that grow around me, the multitudes of kinds of people from different cultures and walks of life, the architecture of the buildings around me, the types of food that people enjoy in the morning...it never needs to end, unless you chose for it to!

P.S. Thank you to my buddy who helped inspire me to get writing again. It feels good. I shall try to continue writing.

Lessons from a Little Town in Tokyo

Azabu jubbbaaaannnn! I am singing in my head today on this lovely sunny morning in a little town called Azabu-juban in Mamianacho, Tokyo, Japan! I feel so fortunate as I type here in a little cafe with the knowledge that my job allows me to have such a wonderful and adventurous life. I have to acknowledge that this would not have been true without the support of a boss who believes in practising workplace health! It is our company's mission to provide that to others, but she actually tries to practise what she preaches! Such a rarity in Singapore, a place where people prefer to say they are busy all the time.

What a joy to be able to breathe in the fresh air, to see others working with pride and integrity at the things they have been called to do. Last night as Ian and I wrapped up our night, we looked down at the security guard outside the apartment. He turned towards the soft noises that we made as we came out to the balcony, 8 stories above him. He seemed alert and was standing in his smart policeman like outfit and his long staff which I suppose he would use to ward away intruders. How different from the guards in Singapore who sit and snooze at the first chance they get! Who appear irritated if they need to take down your details to let you enter the premises.

In Japan, in most places that you go to, each person seems to take pride in the small tasks that fall within their responsibility. Whether it is greeting and seating you, wiping your table, opening your taxi door for you or helping you find your way in the train station, it seems that Japanese people have much more sense of duty and dedication to what they do. I'm sure this cannot be every single one of them without exception, but I would be a fool not to take a lesson from them in doing each task that I undertake with a little more Japanese purpose and diligence.